Vennisjean’s Weblog

December 21, 2007


Filed under: Uncategorized — vennisjean @ 10:17 am

My sister told me I have the “gift of goodbye”. Looking confused, she explained to me that whenever I change places or whenever people come and go out of my life it is easy for me to let go. I may look fine when it’s happening but the truth is I just kept myself busy or preoccupied with thoughts that would motivate me to go on with my life. So, it’s not like I confronted it with no hurt and loss felt but rather I tried avoiding them. I guess I’m just not brave enough. After sometime, I figured out that to help us recover from pain, we just have to listen and to believe in ourselves. We should believe that having mindset and emotional stability would prepare us from any unexpected and unwanted circumstances. With strong disposition and an open mind, we might understand and agree that life is fair after all and all the challenges that we have is there to spice up our lives and that serve as instruments to lead us achieve the essence of our very being. To some point though a weak part of us will be hit and that it is inevitable to remember what we have been trying to forget. And we will be in a phase where we want to be back in our old world interacting with people we missed so much and does not want to be awakened from our delusion. I was on tenterhooks when I experienced this. That time I was newly assigned to work on a different building where I was the only one Filipino. There’s not much work to do so I hooked up myself watching very sad Asian drama series in youtube which by the way just worsen my condition. I never talk to my other colleagues unless it’s work-related. Even at home I felt so down as if the gravity intervenes pulling me towards the innermost core of the earth. It took me two weeks till I was okay. That was when I became so busy at work and when I was back going out during my rest days. So, the logic of why people hold on to a particular emotion like sadness and loneliness does not only occur because of the happening of certain events. I think it is also because how our mind works or what we want to believe in or basically because we’ve got nothing to do. It could also be that there’s nothing much to worry about but we just chose to feel sadness or to isolate ourselves from the “happy” world. According to human philosophy, human beings, subconsciously, like to be rejected sometimes. That is why there are more persons who want to love unrequited rather than be loved by someone they’re not in love with. Well, I would say I’d pray we all be blessed with courage and strength to deserve mutual love and to survive in the coming of trials in our lives.


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